Favors From Strangers.

So a few weeks ago I caught up with a good friend over a Vietnamese noodle lunch to tell each other about our (busy) summers. With the power of Facebook and Flickr we'd seen one another's adventures in foreign countries. Since I've gotten into the habit of taking my camera pretty much everywhere, I have the usual handful of self-taken shots. My friend pointed out that she'd noticed other photos where someone else had obviously snapped my picture at various points during my solo trips. "Did you ask someone to take those?"

"Of course -- how else could I have been in the picture?"

She seemed amused/amazed by the fact that I'd handed a stranger my camera to take a photo of me. In retrospect, I'm not sure she's the type of person to ask someone to do that same thing -- I definitely used to be the same way. I can't say that I was the most assertive person back in the day but thankfully that's changed for the better. For example, if people are being rude at the movies by talking, laughing and blatantly disregarding everyone else in the theater, I will tell them to shut up. I didn't pay ten bucks to hear you yap about Jersey Shore.

but seriously

I digress.

I mean, if someone I didn't know asked me to take a photo of them standing in front of some Point Of Interest, I wouldn't think twice about doing it. Couples and groups request this all the time from strangers; why wouldn't someone traveling by him/herself? Because to be honest, self-shots are pretty limited. I suppose there's always the possibility of the person running off with your camera, but that's really not something I'm worried about. So I'm left wondering if this is an offshoot of the social stigma of being alone that I discussed in a previous post.

Happy Hump Day people.

Flying Solo.

It took me long enough, but I finally watched Toy Story 3 this past Saturday. I couldn't find anyone on short notice to come with me but I also didn't want to put off watching the film, so I flew solo and attended the 4:00 matinee showing at a nearby theater. You'd think that I'd save a bit of cash by going to an early show, but since I'd opted to watch the 3D version, the ticket still ran me $10.50. This actually didn't surprise me anymore and I figured I'd be paying even more for a later show, so I shelled out the money and was handed a pair of 3D glasses along with my ticket.

pick a seat, any seat

I was the first person inside Auditorium 1, a fairly-large split-level theater. It seemed like the upper level would be the best place to watch so I climbed the stairs and picked the center seat in the second row. I settled in with my $4 box of Mike N Ikes (in clear violation of my diet, but hey it was a Special Occasion) and a few minutes later the local advertising spots and pop culture trivia video loop began playing. Around the same time, small families and couples began trickling in below. After a while it became apparent that I was the only person who was there alone.

I've been going to the movies by myself for several years now. I think the first one I watched solo was The Others at a downtown Seattle theater, when I decided to just go spontaneously after work. It was interesting to be out watching a scary movie without being with friends or a date -- people to share the experience with. But I still enjoyed it regardless. Riding 20 miles back to my apartment at 10pm on a non-express bus, however, was somewhat less enjoyable. But I digress.

Is there still a stigma about going to the movies by yourself? I don't really think there is, but at the same time I'm not aware of any friends who do this. (At least, they haven't explicitly offered this information.) People rent and watch DVDs at home by themselves all the time, but I think there's some kind of social mechanism that generally inhibits us from doing certain activities by ourselves. Movie-watching is the obvious example, but eating at sit-down restaurants and going to concerts/shows also come to mind. I don't know anyone who does these things solo on a regular basis (or at all, to be honest).

What gives? Are we conditioned by social norms to do certain public things in groups? I guess that might have started waaay back in pre-school or kindergarten, when we were encouraged to perform activities with other children. In grade school all the way up to high school, I know that it wasn't necessarily desirable to be considered a loner, that it was considered weird to eat lunch by yourself. Not so much in college thankfully, but I can only conclude that society still unconsciously upholds this stigma to a certain extent in the "real world."

Which is unfortunate, really.

Okay, so: In the continuing effort to expand my own horizons, I will go to an upcoming concert/show and eat at a restaurant by myself, just to see how it goes. In actuality I probably should've done this years ago. I mean, I don't want to miss out on what might be a great experience just because no one else is around to come with me. The city is full of things to do -- if I end up doing some of those things by myself, that's okay with me.

By the way, Toy Story 3 was excellent. I shed tears and dammit, I'm not ashamed.

Not Entirely Untrue.

Found this the other day and thought it was worth sharing:

Kinda funny. Although men obviously have more things to talk/think about in depth than just the three-letter-word (I should hope), it's not entirely untrue part of the time. But countless sitcom episodes, op-ed articles and blog postings have been built upon this premise and played up to great effect because it's been ingrained into society that this is simply how men and women work. So ingrained, in fact, that it's almost a big deal when the roles are reversed. But that's the subject of another post.

The image above reminds me of one of my favorite Roots joints from back in the mid-nineties, "Silent Treatment". The first verse:

Yo, I had a Queen named Amina, height five seven
Caramel-complected, body like heaven
Met her through the sister of my man Big Vince
Like some shit from out the flicks we been in love ever since

She called me her chocolate brotha, I called her my sugar sista
Knew Shorty could work it since before I ever kissed her
I never dissed her, painted my picture to hit
But because sex she wasn't with, she started flippin' and shit

Like, "Listen man, I'm Queen Amina, Amina's not no freak and
That game is weak and keep tryin' to hit I could quit speakin'
Tariq in fact, you bein Black Thought don't get ya closer
I dig ya but won't bone ya because I'm so-called supposed ta

Most o' them would, but that couldn't be me, that's not my flava
Go home and think about that, maybe later on I'll page ya ..."
I contemplated, and then concluded she was bluffin'
Steady pursuin' screwin', gettin' nothin' but the silent treatment

Here are the lyrics to the entire song. And, just 'cause the song definitely bears listening to:


Yeah, that's Santigold on the cover of the single. Dig it.