What I've Learned 007: Don't Watch The PG-13 Version.

Continuing an ongoing series of creative writing exercises inspired by Esquire's "What I've Learned" articles. This time, I used an interview with Kelsey Grammer. The first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) serve as prompts for my own answers.

bar room glow

• Prayer is when you place your soul right on the table and ask God to take a look.
  
  
• I don't think dessert was originally meant to take up more than a saucer's worth of space. I'm looking at you, Cheesecake Factory.
  
  
• I didn't have a clue as to what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated from college. Now, I have a career path, but I've never let it define who I am. Life is so much more than work.
  
  
• I've survived Auto-Tune, and I'm stronger for it.
  
  
• The simplest way to make me happy is to put on a song that I like. Then, together, we dance, sing, bob our heads, or make exaggerated hip-hop hand gestures.
  
  
• The audience can be a fickle beast. Make sure you know WTF you're doing when you're on stage. Even when we've done exactly this, it's never been a guarantee of success.
  
  
• The hardest part of songwriting, like most other things, is actually starting. I had writer's block for several months and I'm just now beginning to overcome it. Interestingly, it coincided with several other things going on in my life, so I take it as a good sign that things are looking up.
  
  
• Have I been asleep all this time? Sometimes I really think so, and it's hard to wake up. Reality is strange sometimes.
  
  
• Part of what's great about the weather in the Northwest is that you learn to never take the sunshine for granted. Sunny days are like Christmas.
  
  
• There's almost nothing quite like trying to sincerely answer a little kid's question, and coming up with absolutely nothing except "I don't know." It's humbling and deeply hilarious at the same time. This however is a rare experience since I'm almost always making things up.
  
  
• The human experience is supposed to be NC-17. Don't watch the PG-13 version.
  
  
• What I can control isn't much. But it's enough. The important thing I took away from this realization is that it always has been.
  
  
• It's the way of the world to see how far it can push you. To me, a successful life results from deciding whether to push back, or adapt.

Lyrics: "One Time."

Originally found on the iFlow mixtape we released with King Alexander (aka Joe Black) and E-Drid, this is one of my favorite verses. I'm most at home rhyming over mid-tempo/slower beats as my style is fairly high-density. Just reminiscing the other day and thought of the song again. After four and a half years I'm still feeling it. haha.

[via]

'Cause one of my dreams is to bubble up if only for a moment
Just enough so I can turn around and show all my opponents
How to do it right from the start, my crew's behind me
As I turn this writing to art, strikin' the charts

With the heart of a lion, chargin' the line like a spark from the iron
Artists are whinin' like they grind but they hardly be tryin'
Although they comin' out loud, after an hour
They break up like cumulonimbus clouds after a shower

And transform to vapor, the best-known turn into memories
I light up a Dutch and that's how I'll be burnin' my enemies
Then back to the lab creatin' something new to show ya
And plan for the day me and my labelmates go supernova

It's only a matter of time and perseverance
Before we make our first national televised appearance
And so for now until it's the apocalypse
I'm everywhere like precipitation all over the metropolis

What I've Learned 006: Inevitably, There's One Item You Forget.

Continuing an ongoing series of creative writing exercises inspired by Esquire's "What I've Learned" articles. This time, I used an interview with Jon Favreau. The first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) serve as prompts for my own answers.

Cabo in sepia

• You don't want to upset the delicate balance of ketchup, mustard and relish when it comes to the perfect blend of basic hotdog condiments. The flavor should be equal parts tangy and sweet. Actually, throw some onions and a slice of jalapeno or two and I'm good. What am I talking about -- I don't even eat hotdogs anymore. But I was at Costco recently and walked by the "cafeteria" and suddenly I was salivating. Oh well.
  
  
• I've always avoided direct confrontation, especially when I knew there'd be a good probability of hurt feelings or arguments. In retrospect I should've addressed the issues as they came up. Now for the most part I avoid bottling things up. Turns out that confrontation can be a healthy thing, provided all sides remain civil. My blood pressure thanks me.
  
  
• I don't envy people who live on the beach. Of course, it'd be nice to be able to walk out right onto the sand whenever you want and cultivate a perpetual tan, but I've always held fond memories of beach-going as An Event. I kinda don't want to let those go.
  
  
• This is just a memory, but the first time I ever heard the word "shit" was when we watched Ghostbusters in a giant air-conditioned mall theater in Manila. I was eight years old and distinctly remember looking around to see if anyone cared that I'd been exposed to such vulgarity. Of course, no one did.
  
  
• You have to create at least a daily goal for yourself, even if you're not the type of person to view life in the longer term. I no longer enjoy glancing back at the end of a day and realize that I hadn't really done anything productive. Even when I'm on vacation.
  
  
• I don't have to look at myself in the mirror to know that I need to do better. But it helps.
  
  
• My grandfather had a green thumb. He could grow damn near anything in the small garden in my mom's childhood home. According to her, I've inherited his talent. At any rate, the thrive:wither ratio of my houseplants has been pretty good so she must be onto something.
  
  
• I had a writing block this year. I dunno, I must be in some kind of creative rut. As a result I've been reading more. I love reading but I really need to pick up that pen again.
  
  
• Kids don't want to be told what to do a hundred percent of the time, which is fine with me. I'll let them make their own mistakes through their own discoveries. One of my jobs as a father is obviously to be a consistent guide. I've gotten advice from the other parents in my family, but I know in the end I have to make the decisions that will ultimately matter.
  
  
• You get a thousand things from the grocery store while you're there, but inevitably there's one item you forget. You usually remember that item when you've just stepped back into the house. Note to self: lists are your friends.
  
  
• I don't get our current American political process. Maybe it's because I've immersed myself too deeply into the punditry that accompanies it, but it's become more a source of frustration than information. I'm anxious to see what next month's elections will bring. Good news, I hope.
  
  
• Storytelling relies on timing as much as a good plot. When I construct verses with story lines, I have to keep in mind pacing as well as the action. Given the inherent constraints of storytelling in musical form, this has always been a fun challenge.
  
  
• Why do people like Star Wars? I really have no idea but Slave Leia probably has something to do with it.
  
  
• Sex onscreen? As long as it's not in slow motion or soft focus. Let's leave those effects in movies on pay channels from the Reagan era.
  
  
• We didn't have a working water heater back in my childhood home in the Philippines. It never mattered that it was 95 degrees out -- how the hell did the water always seem ice cold? Needless to say I didn't linger in the shower.
  
  
• As you age, birthdays don't necessarily become less fun, but it takes less and less for me to say "Hey, that was a nice celebration." Even if it's just a simple dinner at home.
  
  
• I haven't mastered going to bed at a reasonable hour. You'd think I could do that by now. But no.
  
  
• Living to a hundred? The more I think about it the less appealing it is, 'cause inside I feel like I should be in my early twenties. Pair that feeling with a geriatric body in five decades and there's bound to be some disconnect. Not saying I'm not looking forward to seeing what the world will be like though. That's gonna be cool as hell.
  
  
• When it's my time I want a big freakin' party. All I ask is that my family plays some music that I love. That's gonna be funny, hearing Mobb Deep at a wake.

What I've Learned 005: A Bad Form Of Information Overload.

Continuing an ongoing series of creative writing exercises inspired by Esquire's "What I've Learned" articles. I used Luis Guzman's interview for my template this time. The first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) serve as prompts for my own answers. Enjoy!

near midnight, St. Louis

• Fourteen years now. We threw our first party at the condo we just moved into and it was the start of a beautiful thing. We had a guest list to make sure the guy:girl ratio was favorable, a keg, Jell-O shots and charged a cover. I made like four mixtapes (and they really were on cassettes) so I didn't have to worry about the music. I view our parties as instrumental in drawing me out of my shell 'cause back in the day I was a pretty shy dude. I definitely don't think I am now.
  
  
• Wicked cold. I'm sick of it ... I'd rather it rain and be gloomy all day than dump a foot of snow overnight. If I had my way the temperature would fluctuate between 55 and 70 all year, so I can rock my fall gear. Hahah.
  
  
• I became involved with rhyming as an art form fairly early on. I'd start writing on the bus to and from school, using the daily schoolkid drama as my source material. I wish I'd had the sense to record my early verses on my parents' old Japanese karaoke machine, but I'm pretty sure I would've erased them anyway after listening to them. I'm used to the sound of my own voice now, but like other people I don't think I would've liked it back then.
  
  
• The people who looked down on me because I was a Filipino junior high school student in the Midwest, completely immersed in the culture of hip-hop when I should be listening to "classical music," can kiss my ass.
  
  
• I went to an awesome movie theater in downtown Kansas City this past weekend. It's an AMC Cinema Suite, where the price of the ticket includes food, drinks and dessert. You get to sit in a leather recliner with a call button, order off a menu and get to munch popcorn and drink your poison of choice during the movie. This is how it should be done. The pecan pie wasn't bad either.
  
  
• I did this Cabo vacation for a week by myself last month. Yeah lots of times I wish I had some friends with me to share in the experience, but I didn't let that take away any of the fun. Sometimes I even liked the fact that I was the only one on the beach at six in the morning. I felt like I owned the world.
  
  
• I like doing stuff that's more and more out of my comfort zone. I'm pretty tired of missing out on things, and regret will no longer be part of my vocabulary.
  
  
• I make a trip to the Asian grocery every once in a while to grab essential snack food items. There's something about the aromas of the food and the spices floating around in the store that is nostalgic and reassuring to me. Or maybe it's only 'cause I'm hungry. Anyway, Asian snacks are the SHIT. Plus I love the packaging they come in. Shrimp chips? Pass them to me now.
  
  
• I love getting recommendations for restaurants. But at the same time, if I don't know exactly what I want to eat, I'll drive around town until I see a place that looks interesting and try it. I haven't done this much this summer due to time and budget constraints, but you can bet I'll start this back up in the autumn.
  
  
• You mow the lawn, I'll trim the hedges. I'll even clean the bathrooms. But you mow the lawn.
  
  
• I usually get up between 8:30 and 9:30 on weekends now, even if I've stayed up late the night before. I don't get roaring drunk anymore so I haven't had a hangover in years -- that probably helps. Nowadays it's hard for me to fall back asleep after I've woken up. This is probably a good thing 'cause I love eating breakfast.
  
  
• One thing about music is that there's more of it being created than I have time to listen to. I have too much new stuff sitting around waiting to be appreciated, and it's just being neglected. I remember when I could sit and really absorb literally all of the tracks on an album (and even remember the song titles). Now I can barely recall the title of the freaking album. It's a bad form of information overload, yet I can't stop.
  
  
• I don't trust cats. I don't hate 'em, I just don't trust 'em. It's the look in their eyes.

Haiku Series 005: Metronome.

My first hundred strides
disappear in mere seconds,
swallowed by the street.

Countless concrete squares
mark the passage of my feet,
echoing rhythms.

Springy, metallic
and hypnotic, it becomes
the strange metronome

by which the colors
of the sparks within my lungs
are measured and mixed.

The last thousand strides
are a shrieking hue of white,
signaling success.

Fatigue is the song
composed by the metronome:
Me against pavement.

What I've Learned 004: I Suppose Blogging Counts For Something.

Continuing an ongoing series of creative writing exercises inspired by Esquire's "What I've Learned" articles. This time, Conor Oberst's interview was my template; the first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) serve as prompts for my own answers.

high-contrast

• Airports, hotels, and rock clubs are all equally awesome places to get drunk. Or that's what I've heard, anyway. Yeah.
  
  
• I met some really great people since moving back to the Midwest two-and-a-half years ago, from both rural and urban areas. I just hope I can keep in touch with them. I've gotten quite a bit more outgoing over time so I'm optimistic about it.
  
  
• I think in a lot of ways unconditional love is trivialized. I'm talking about movies, books and music. I've grown to realize that it takes a lot of work to make a relationship work. You can't just talk about loving someone. You have to actively do it.
  
  
• Nebraska is probably somewhere I'd drive through just to get to somewhere else. Nothing against the "fly-over" states, but I'm a city boy at heart. A sincere thanks for all the corn though.
  
  
• We've got the best country in the world to live in, and we're busy wasting our own time, money and energy on utter bullshit.
  
  
• When you get past Kansas City's drawbacks, it's actually not a bad place to live. I'm happy to have lived here and experienced what it's had to offer. No regrets. I'll try to make the most of the (short) time I have left.
  
  
• I would prefer to be a little more productive when it comes to writing on a schedule, but I suppose blogging counts for something. At least it keeps my brain active and away from reality TV.
  
  
• If I could meet anybody, I'd love to spend an afternoon with my father's father. He passed before I was born. I think it would be fascinating to meet the man who helped shape my dad's life. From what he's told me, my grandfather was a cool dude.
  
  
• I keep my eyes closed when I shave my face in the shower. I don't know why.
  
  
• When you play songs that nobody knows, you have to break that barrier that comes with hearing the same song twelve times a day on the radio. A good audience is receptive to material other than what's pushed by the industry. Sometimes it works. Big up to college radio!
  
  
• Bruce is an indisputable icon. I find inspiration in his work ethic and philosophy on life. "There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." Knowledge dropped. I wonder how different the action genre and martial arts culture in general would be if he were still around.
  
  
• Once you get past your prime reproduction years, it's not the end of the world. It just lets you focus on other things that might've not seemed important at the time. I think I'm at that stage now, although I don't really consider myself "old" just yet. Other people probably have a different opinion.
  
  
• One of my best friends wants kids. His wife however does not, at least yet. Kinda funny how his biological alarm clock's gone off, and hers is unplugged. Anyway he'd make a great dad. It's interesting and amusing to see how he's changed over the years, but he's always been a loyal friend. Now put a bun in that oven!

What I've Learned 003: Normal Is Not Normal.

Continuing an ongoing series of creative writing exercises inspired by Esquire's "What I've Learned" articles. For this entry, I've taken my cues from Emmylou Harris' interview; the first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) serve as prompts for my own answers.

ready for my, uh, close-up

• As soon as you start worrying about wrinkles, it's already too late. Just go with it.
  
  
• God is the giant question mark in the sky. Yes, I believe in Him, but I've only begun to really grasp His true nature for myself. Although I self-identify as Catholic, I find myself straying from the dogmas of any one religion. This outward trend feels right, somehow. Billions of non-Christians can't be "wrong." But then again, I don't think anyone is really "right."
  
  
• Patriotism can be infuriating. Especially when it's directed at fellow countrymen who did nothing other than vote for the other guy.
  
  
• The thing about working with more than one mentor is that I have to re-"learn" to do the same thing over and over. In a way this is a great thing 'cause I'm using various methods to achieve similar results, but they probably look at me like "Is this dude ever gonna do it right?" hahah.
  
  
• The South is somewhere I really have no desire to visit again. No offense, but the humidity alone scares me.
  
  
• You have to learn that maybe, maybe, the person who just cut you off in traffic really does have somewhere important to go. I'm not prone to road rage, but there have been times when I've just wanted to react violently to some idiot on the highway. Turning up the music usually calms me down.
  
  
• Normal is not normal.
  
  
• When I was sixteen, I didn't belong to any particular clique in high school. Not that I was a loner, but I kinda flew under the radar. As a result, I didn't really feel the need to go to the reunion. I only have a handful of friends from that time in my life, but they're extremely good ones. I'm okay with that.
  
  
• You have to lay yourself on the couch for at least five minutes before you commit to buying it. Napping on it for a short period of time is highly recommended as well.
  
  
• We have a saying in the Philippines that goes "Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako." A literal translation is "While you're only just going, I'm already on my way back." My mother gently said this to me during a conversation a few years ago, when she was giving me advice. I was going through a rather dark time in my life, and she told me she could relate. I've never forgotten it; it's a powerful reminder to respect your elders, and to remember to tap their stores of wisdom.
  
  
• Any time you think no one saw you pick that wedgie out of your ass, you're wrong.
  
  
• I'm the poster child for having more music in my laptop than I could possibly ever listen to. I need to play some serious catch-up. A complete iPod reload is imminent!
  
  
• It's pretty dangerous right now to not have your own opinion on what's going on around you, whether locally or globally. Actually, it was dangerous back then, too. Be informed, even with points from opposing sides. Yes, I know it's hard. Do it anyway.
  
  
• During those long summer afternoons when you'd rather stay inside instead of sticking to your car seat, I find that a faux mimosa consisting of equal parts sparkling water and orange juice does the trick nicely. That, and some roots reggae bouncing out of your speakers.
  
  
• Let's just say I'm still trying to be a better person than I was yesterday. Results may vary depending on microwave strength and cooking time.
  
  
• I like the fact that the worlds of fashion, music, art and style have become so much more fragmented (and therefore vastly more accessible) over the past decade. I believe this allows anyone to pick what they want from so many different sensibilities and aesthetics, and make them into their own personal thing. This eclecticism wasn't nearly as accepted in the 90s. It's fucking beautiful.
  
  
• Everybody walking around on this planet has the capacity to feel the same emotions. Nearly everybody walking around on this planet forgets this. I need to be more empathetic 'cause not being so isn't doing anybody any good.
  
  
• I didn't start taking my diet seriously until just a few months ago. But I feel better than I ever have in my life. My only regret is that I didn't do this sooner.
  
  
• I was six the day we moved from the Philippines to the Midwest. I wonder how my life would've turned out had it happened later. One thing's for sure: I'd definitely know how to speak better Tagalog. Not that I'm terrible at it, but I still stumble on verb tenses from time to time. Speaking fluently requires a nimble tongue. And get your minds outta the gutter.
  
  
• The only thing I know about running is that I'm a crappy distance runner. But hey I'm getting a lot better! Running my own 5K four times a week day probably doesn't hurt. I do need new shoes, though.
  
  
• There I was. I'm happy to say that I'm far enough along now to be able to look back with clear eyes, and acknowledge the progress I've made. Here's to more of that.

Lyrics: "CJLO Freestyle."

Written and performed exclusively for my radio interview last Saturday on CJLO's Beats From The East with DJ Mister Vee. I'll have a proper post about the interview tomorrow.

CJLO

Somebody pass the bottle opener, let's get the cipher started
Pull a Black & Mild out, flick a lighter, spark it
Pull a pad of rhymes out, yeah I write retarded
'Cause I get stupid from Montreal to Pike Place Market

The 206 back in the building
Whether you knapsackin' it or rappin' for millions
I still got you bobbin' ya dome off of the poem
With ya hands up like you heard me cockin' the chrome

My flow, slicker than BP, I cover coastlines
Infiltrate your airwaves with the most lines
Pull ya girl and leave a freak beamin'
Haters try to do what I do, Inception homie, keep dreamin'

They even creep, schemin', pissed at me
Whenever I twist a tree with Mister Vee
Roll up, we about to make history
Nastradamus never predicted what this could be

Recognize, ladies love my voice raspy and deep
I guess that's why I'm always on smash when I creep
Now I'm on the radio, got ya crashin' ya jeep
I'm hittin' off ya main squeeze while ya ass be asleep

Hittin' off ya main squeeze and she makin' me breakfast
Connivin' ways to penetrate your defenses
Who battlin? I'll stay in the trenches, then turn
Your whole block upside down like I was playin' some Tetris

Oh you brave with a deathwish, I'll increase the heat in the streets
Have you fiendin' for the sweetest release
Plenty bars, Merc leave em deceased
I'm a southpaw swingin' son, you really catch a beat from the east

What I've Learned 002: As Gloriously Third-World As You Can Get.

Second in an ongoing series of creative writing exercises inspired by Esquire's "What I've Learned" articles. This time, I've taken my cues from Tim Burton's interview; the first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) serve as prompts for my own answers.

2:37am, in a hotel
somewhere on French Island, WI

• Before I started yoga, I had absolutely no idea how hard it really is. I think I sometimes sweat more doing yoga than lifting weights. But weightlifting doesn't give you the body awareness that yoga does. It's amazing, but I need a long shower afterward.
  
  
• Most monster movies are silly as hell, even the "serious" ones. I love them all.
  
  
• Once, when I was a child, I pretended to die to see what our dog, Matli, would do. I collapsed on our front porch and covered my face with my arm. She padded over, licked my arm a couple of times, and then just sat there. I like to think she would wait there forever for me to miraculously get back up. Of course I eventually did, so she was probably thinking "See, I told you so."
  
  
• I’ve always been a bit more anal retentive when it comes to organizing my music. I don't like it when I see a friend's mp3 folders and they have these randomly-named music files all over the place. You need a system, dammit.
  
  
• People have said to me, "I thought you were this laid-back, chill person. You're really not like that at all." Which always used to blow my mind, but that was when I wasn't really thinking outside of myself. I guess some people saw my inner anxieties better than I ever could. That was a pretty valuable insight.
  
  
• There are people who pretend like they don't need any help and as a result keep spiraling downward into a mess of self-loathing and denial -- wait, I'm projecting here. Shit.
  
  
• When I did shows and performances with Reggie as a part of J-Pros, the feeling right before we went onstage was something that couldn't be reproduced by anything else. It was a mixture of nervousness and excitement tinged with just the slightest amount of sheer terror. The absolute worst was thinking I was going to forget how a verse started, because a thousand things can go through your mind when you step out into the light. Fortunately, we learned to focus and our live show improved. I'm rusty as hell now though.
  
  
• You can argue with somebody who says, "I hate sushi" until you're blue in the face, but they probably won't end up trying a piece of your salmon sashimi anyway. Don't get mad -- that only means more for you. All is fair in love and seafood.
  
  
• In one of the books that I'm reading, I learned that back in the mid-1900s GM and other auto giants bought out trolley companies across the US with the implied intent of expanding our passenger rail system. They then dismantled all of them to eliminate competition with their product. Just think about what a cool train system we could be using today if that hadn't been allowed to happen. I haven't been on a proper train since visiting Europe a few years ago. I'm overdue for a nice train trip.
  
  
• Sex scenes are usually "meh" to watch for the most part, until that one accidental occasion when you find yourself watching one with your parents. I believe that happened to my sister a few years ago; she was watching Monster's Ball with my brother and my parents. I wasn't there to witness this historically awkward situation, but Jose says she simply got up and left the room. I think I would've just started laughing uncontrollably. And then gotten up and left the room.
  
  
• I sometimes meet people who have no idea what they're talking about, especially when it comes to generalizing between Filipino and American culture. It's very hard work to convince someone that no, one is not better than the other simply because, but the subject is so complex that I end up leaving it alone most of the time with no rebuttals and continue on. Some people are just set in their ways.
  
  
• I remember a certain pleasure that can only be had when drinking ice-cold Coke out of a thin plastic bag with a straw -- the way it's purchased from street vendors in the Philippines. I haven't been back there in over a decade so I haven't a clue if they still serve it this way, but that's about as gloriously Third-World as you can get. Ahhh nostalgia.
  
  
• I feel extremely at home in a recording booth. It's just me, headphones, a microphone and a sheet of lyrics. Very very simple, but very very right. I miss it a lot.
  
  
• Everybody loves getting cards and letters in the mail, although it's so much easier to dash off an email or send a greeting on Facebook. I still like writing letters occasionally, typos and all. Blogging is fun and productive but nothing beats putting pen to paper. I just hope my handwriting remains somewhat legible.

What I've Learned 001: Initial Attempt.

Esquire magazine has a regular feature called "What I've Learned" in which a celebrity, businessperson, athlete, academic, musician or other influential person dishes out words of wisdom, interesting anecdotes or life lessons. In this post I'm doing the same thing, only I'll be using the first few words of each paragraph of the feature (in italics below) as prompts for my own answers. This time, I'm using Rick Rubin's interview for my template.

just chillin' in the fridge
on a hot-ass day

• What I've learned about myself in the past seven months has mostly been encouraging. I guess I'd never seriously really gone "soul searching" before and asked myself if I could be a better person. The answer, thankfully, is "yes."
  
  
• When you're a kid, nothing makes you feel like more of a bad-ass than being part of a bike gang in your neighborhood, even if you don't happen to have the cool BMX.
  
  
• At one time, I really believed that everyone liked and respected me all the time. I was eventually dismayed to find out that this wasn't in fact true.
  
  
• Making art is something I wish I had more time for. For now though, I'll settle for having a deep appreciation for other people's art. This is a win-win situation.
  
  
• What I've learned about changing to a pescatarian diet and restricting my calories is that it's much better to view the change not as a form of self-denial, but as one of self-discipline. Self-denial will only lead to ruin -- and a lot of cheeseburgers.
  
  
• My job is to make sure I don't fuck up as colossally as I have over the past three years anymore. I'm tired of disappointing myself and people around me. It's a hard job but the benefits are freaking fantastic.
  
  
• If I were to make anything out of Legos right now, it would be a giant, sturdy armored vehicle that I'd jump over ramps made of my books over and over until it started to break apart. Then I'd rebuild it, make it structurally stronger, and repeat the process until I had an INDESTRUCTIBLE ROLLING FORTRESS.
  
  
• I was talking to a coworker today and she suggested that I start listening to country music (she's pretty into it and often sings along to the radio we constantly have playing in the background). I do appreciate the ability of the genre to tell great stories. But I'm currently heavily involved with electronic and indie music -- and many of their sub-genres -- and as much time as I spend listening and searching for new stuff, I just don't have room in my brain. I did get a couple of recommendations, though.
  
  
• So much of my work is a process of self-discovery and learning. It's incredible how much I'm learning during a 10-hour shift in the hospital. What's better is that I truly enjoy the work. I can't say it's evolved into one of my "passions" quite yet but there's something to be said about looking forward to the day.
  
  
• With many artists, I think there's a reluctance to cut down on the amount of garbage tracks on their projects. I'd rather get an EP of quality songs than a full-length album comprised mostly of forgettable filler. I'm not trying to pick out 4-5 good songs from a double album either. Kill that noise, literally.
  
  
• I don't know anything about love. Well, only that I'm not that great at it. I like to think I've had flashes of brilliance and understanding of how it works, but mostly I'm still in the dark. Someone help me out.
  
  
• It's not fun to be your buddy's wingman for more than seven hours during a camping trip, especially when you have absolutely ZERO intentions on making a move on the friend of the girl who your friend is trying to hook up with. (Read that again, it'll make sense.) But yeah, really no fun AT ALL. I feel for you, Mike.
  
  
• I was with this group of friends at an all-night diner after getting out of the club. What is it about breakfast food at 3am when you've had a few drinks? I had an omelet stuffed full of veggies, a massive side of hash browns and a couple slices of buttered toast. The plate was huge. I finished all of it and probably could've smashed some waffles after that, but it was time to go. Needless to say I slept like a damn log and wasn't hungover. Calories were off the chain though.
  
  
• Put it this way: I haven't learned much, but it's a start.

Upon re-reading, I really like this format. Look for more WIL entries in the future.

Lyrics: Untitled Verse.

Written from inside a dark place.

I never thought that I would see you in dreams
But every time I do it's like I'm fiendin' it seems
'Cause yo, you're like a vision that I witness
Mindin' my business and all of a sudden I miss you with a quickness

Yo I can't explain it, 'cause one second I'm fine
It's wreckin' my mind, I end up recollectin' the time
When I stole a kiss and then captured your heart
I mastered the art of love but now I'm back at the start

Ground zero, starin' at your picture at night
Thinkin' bout you even when I'm grippin' a mic
It's surprising 'cause I thought that I was over you boo
Instead my soul is tellin' me to get closer to you

But hold up, I don't know how you feel about this tragedy
I hope your strategy's to rapidly come back to me
And that'll be the fantasy occupyin' my brain
Until then, sing a melody and quiet my pain

My (Unfinished) Book Of Rhymes.

It's been a long time since I've finished writing a song. I think the last one I actually completed was sometime last spring for J-Pros' album, and that felt good to accomplish, but I can count on two hands the number of unfinished songs that are sitting in text files or in my book of rhymes (c) Nas. A couple of them are your typical exercises in braggadocio -- iller-than-thou displays of timing, pattern, breath control and flow. But most of the songs are incomplete fragments of my long-postponed solo project, Pisces Child, which is centered around my life experiences over the past three or four years.

As expected, much of the subject matter is introspective, dealing with lots of negative/destructive feelings I've harbored (and have since attempted to channel through more positive outlets). Admittedly it was very therapeutic to write down these feelings. The creativity and effort required -- to put them into rhyme form, then into something resembling a cohesive song, and then into something resembling a listenable album -- was a productive use of my free time, and I enjoy working on a project that carries so much personal meaning. However, school and my other commitment to Pacific Central inevitably ended up delaying work on Pisces Child.

[via]

Not that I'm complaining. We're rolling out Pacific Central this Thursday, 17 June, through various online outlets and I'm highly excited about unveiling our work to our friends and family. Ultimately, this will mean a bit more free time to polish up my song- and rhyme-writing skills and eventually continue work on my solo stuff. There's still so much in my head to write down, and I hope to be able to complete the Pisces Child project before too much longer.

365 Days & 100 Words Later.

So exactly one year ago yesterday I was lurking on MetaFilter when I read about Name Your Tale, a creative-writing website co-founded by one of MetaFilter's members. In the tradition of microfiction, the authors on the site write 100-word short stories based on titles that are submitted by anyone via the website. It was an intriguing idea so of course I had to give it a shot. I submitted "Perpetual Mixtape" as the title for a custom short story, then promptly forgot about it.

However upon checking my email after class yesterday, I saw that my story had finally been written!

Perpetual Mixtape

We were in the kitchen when Dad reached the end. It was like watching him drop a fifty-pound sack he had been carrying our entire lives. We had never believed the story (the sounds of ‘78, the genie, the squandered wish, etc.) but when he reached the end of the Perpetual Mixtape, we saw before us a new man. He dropped the knife and looked out the window, beaming, smiling. “I’m going for a walk,” he said, to no one in particular, and when we asked if he wanted company, he shushed us, then grabbed his keys and walked out.

***
Title by: Ran Gamboa
Story by: Nick

I like it. It's amusing and light, and it was fun to see how someone else could creatively interpret the name of this blog. The fact that I'd forgotten about my submission, only to rediscover it again a year later (to the day, even) was an added surprise -- kinda like finding a little money in the pocket of a coat you'd stashed away last winter.

If you have a couple of minutes to spare, I recommend coming up with and submitting a title of your own. It's just great to see creative minds at work, and you just might be pleasantly surprised at the results.

No Main Topic 002: On Birthdays & A Shift In Musical Preference.

It's a week out since my birthday. First and foremost, once more let me thank everyone who wished me well via Facebook, Twitter, text message, webcam, the phone and in person. Your words, hugs and smiles (and age jokes) through all of these means of communication are much appreciated. If it wasn't obvious from the content of several recent posts, I haven't really felt like myself for the past few weeks -- and it's not because I'm getting older. I guess I'm feeling the effects of some internal seismic activity -- tectonic plates moving around in my mind and causing some cracks on the surface. I've told myself that this is actually A Good Thing, that letting these feelings emerge is actually healthy. This is still unfamiliar territory; I'm used to bottling up and locking everything down until I become a pressure cooker.

Like previous birthdays, I feel no different. I suppose my metabolism has slowed a little, but I've been trying to improve my lifestyle with a pescatarian diet and a significant increase in exercise (details on this in a few days). I may not feel older, but I know things are going to start acting differently the older I get, so I need to make that health investment now. Consider it a preemptive strike against -- well, against whatever it is that afflicts people in their 30s. (It truly pains me to write that last sentence.)

One thing that's definitely changed throughout the years (and has been more pronounced in the past two or three) is the kind of music I listen to. I'm way past the MTV/VH1/BET demographic; I don't even know what channels they're on. Nowadays you could show me a Billboard 200 chart and while I'd most likely have a working knowledge of the majority of artists on it, I probably wouldn't be able to tell you how their songs go ... unless it had been remixed by a DJ specializing in dubstep, glitch, electro or nu-disco. It's strange, because while I do not consider myself an avid listener of "radio" music anymore, I visit a staggering number of music blogs and immerse myself in the bleeding edge of emerging electronic dance- and club-oriented sub-genres that push the pop envelope and, in essence, predict how music will sound a few months down the line.

[via]

I know, it's a strange juxtaposition. I suppose it's because I hate how similar everything sounds on the radio now, and I'm looking for something original. Or at least original before it gets fully co-opted by the music industry juggernaut. It's like Indiana Jones sprinting frantically down the tunnel, trying to outpace the giant boulder. Fortunately, more and more creative ways to make good music are available, as is the technology to spread it, and I am lucky enough to be able to hear and appreciate the results. They make my ears very happy, and do other important things for me -- I even wrote some haiku about it.

If anyone would like to listen to what's currently making my world go 'round, let me know. I'd love to make you a compilation, either on physical CD or mp3 playlist.

Haiku Series 004: Cocoon.

I cocoon myself
inside a pair of headphones
and float, listening

To synthesized drums
and lush, perfectly arranged
machine-tuned voices.

They are a passport
granting me welcome access
to a warm refuge.

Pain follows me through:
my blank constant companion,
inked in indigo.

Horizons darken.
But here, in the melodies,
I find clarity.

[via]

Haiku Series 003: Study Music.

I listen to jazz
Every night when I study
In the dining room.

The music -- complex,
Vibrant, cool and colorful --
Wakes up my senses

And meshes with words,
Somehow helping them make sense
As I read the page.

It's as if the notes
Embrace ideas on the page
And teach them to sing.

Throwback Week Part 01: An Untitled Narrative.

This passage is undated, but I wrote this sometime between 17 August and 18 September 2001. Obviously unfinished, but it looks like it could have been an interesting short story.

"Don't worry," the angel said. "No one will see you. I promise."

Tyler glanced sideways up and down the aisle. As always, she was right; there was no one wandering about. Still, he was afraid that some yellow-aproned store employee would walk around the corner and catch him shoplifting. Tyler knew that if he were caught, there would be more than hell to pay. Might as well kiss that Nintendo he'd been wanting for Christmas goodbye, too.

He drew his hand back and sighed. "Rai, I can't."

The angel exhaled gently through her nose, and Tyler caught the scent of flowers. "Do you really think I would let anything bad happen to you?"

"No." Another glance left, right.

"I'm an angel, dummy."

"I know."

"So come on. Hurry up, before someone comes."

"Look, I just don't wanna get caught," Tyler mumbled, picking at a shirt sleeve. "Let's -- let's just go, okay?" He looked at Rai and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Rai opened her mouth, shut it again. Paused. "Okay. I thought you really wanted it though." She shrugged slowly, with a grace Tyler would not notice until many years later.

"Not as bad as I want my Christmas present." He had a pained look on his face. "Can we go?"

No Main Topic 001: On The Grammys, The Swift Passage Of Time, Donating To Goodwill & Throwback Week.

Judging from the posts on Twitter, Facebook and various message boards, I didn't miss anything by not watching the Grammys last night. Over the next few days, I'll basically end up watching any performances of note over Hulu/YouTube, or embedded in one of the music blogs that I read. I haven't really checked for a Top 40 artist very closely (save for a passing interest in Lady Gaga -- she is talented) so the awards given out to honor those artists and songs really don't mean all that much to what's currently uploaded into my iPod. Basically, what Flavor Flav said in "Terminator X To The Edge Of Panic." Anyway. The winners will have a few more gramophones to put in their display cases and life goes on.

Can't believe this is already the fourth week of the semester. Two more tests, a speech outline, quizzes and daily reading round out my week. Add to that more intensive studying for the board exams in May. Before I know it, Spring Break will be here -- which I'm sure will be extremely welcome by that point. But it's a little scary how fast the days are flying by. Somehow it doesn't seem right. Or maybe I'm really just getting old.

I'm giving away some things to Goodwill today after class. My recent move has illuminated just how much miscellaneous stuff I own, which honestly stressed me out and put me in a bad mood. So part of the weekend was spent boxing up clothes, photo frames, books and computer parts to donate. It felt good to go through my belongings and discard those which were unnecessary. I hope to do the same thing every month or so to keep my stuff from taking over my life, and also to streamline my inevitable move from the Midwest after graduation. I also ended up shredding a couple of boxes full of old documents I'd inexplicably held on to for years.

Speaking of old documents, I rediscovered a number of legal pads filled with various writings in the form of journal entries, lyrics, poems and random thoughts spanning from about 1999 to 2005. So this week, I'll be choosing a few less-embarrassing pieces of writing and posting those here on PM. This actually works out well since I'll be a bit busy with schoolwork and this'll save me from doing any additional, you know, thinking. With that said:

Throwback Week begins. Have a great Monday!

Haiku Series 002: Resolve.

Our trees, brave and stout,
Hold a slow deep breath and glance
Skyward at the sun.

The west wind whips through
Evergreen branches, wrapping
Itself around trunks.

Mightily it pulls,
Hoping to steal them away
And leave no shadows.

But roots grip harder
Than the cold clutch of the gale.
Gasping, it relents.

It spins by: vanquished,
dejected, empty-handed.
And our trees exhale.

Haiku Series 001: Meta.

Almost one o' clock
The house is quiet and still
I should be asleep

But no, I'm messing
Around on the computer
Thinking up haikus.

Fifteen more minutes!
I keep promising myself
Do I listen? LOL!

It's no wonder why
A mug of coffee and I
Have a love affair.