Make No Bones About It.

I continuously surprise myself at the realization of the distance I must travel in terms of self-improvement and, consequently, self-actualization. This distance was again put into sharp focus last week during (my final) Spring Break -- this usually happens when I have the much-needed privilege and responsibility of looking after Veronica. There's nothing quite like parenting to give you the proper perspective of your position in the world; it dawned on me as well that I needed to apply the lessons I learn while trying to be a good father to other aspects of my life.

Last week, it was reinforced to varying degrees that I need to keep working on my senses of patience, fairness, discipline, permissiveness, consistency and empathy (this is a big one). I've made reference to them before, but the lack of those skills contribute to much of my internal instability. I'm glad I've started to really recognize what my deficits are, when I used to just ignore/deny my faults (which did absolutely no one any good).

Well, my road to recovery begins with the admittance of my shortcomings, and the progress I will take to overcome them. This week I embark on that journey. It's time to face my skeletons. Fittingly (and kinda hilariously), a screenshot from one of the videogames of my childhood represents this well.

See you at the top.

Throwback Week Part 04: Yes Joe 2.

Written on 10 October 2002, this particular entry resonates simply because I'm now trying to drink less coffee and more tea. And yes: I admit that I am addicted, not necessarily to coffee, but probably to caffeine in general.

It's a love-hate thing.

So I'm back on the coffee. After tentatively dipping my toes into the caffeine pool, I've surrendered once again and jumped in. Just now I downed a 16-ounce mug of the stuff and have turned my fan on in response to my increasing body temperature.

I dunno. Coffee-drinking is like pimping: I just can't stay away. Seriously, it's hard to say no to a freshly-brewed mug when one's eyelids are threatening to go on strike for the entire day. I just have to make sure I have something to eat with it.

Honestly I don't think I am "addicted" in the traditional sense. I don't crave coffee after waking up, nor do I pour myself endless refills. But I can't lie and say that it doesn't help. Or maybe it only appears to help and it's all in my head. After all, I've gone on months-long coffee-free periods before. I never touched it before college. My well-being is not dependent on a cup of java every morning.

Okay, fine. Just to prove it, I'll go next week without. Just to see. Personally I think the first hour at work will be the most trying. But being that I'm not addicted, it'll be no sweat.

Maybe.